Don’t get me wrong though, most times - well lately - I disagree that fashion is shallow. There can be many intellectual sides to it and it can be used philanthropically.

Which brings me to what I have been devoted to this past week: working on creating eco-friendly grocery totes and a web store on which to sell them. It’s helped me feel better about my line of “passion”, get my mind off things and really has gotten me excited about a fresh project. Really, I’m finally going to be a *real* designer. I’m almost done with decorating my first bag, and I’m getting my new sewing machine tomorrow! It’s a present that I’m grateful for. I see support from my family in starting this first/next step of my dream. (Really my mums didn’t want me to use a cheap one; she wants me to have the right machine for me for a time to come. So my family’s helping me out.)

I’ve also realized I have another new talent: php coding. I’m getting better at using PHP code! I’m so proud of myself for the tweaks I’m putting on WordPress to be this CMS (content management system). It’s just another aspect of being “designer” Ella!

I’ll try to blog but forcing myself today has given me a horrible feeling in my stomach from anxiety. I can’t get excited about this right now, but it’s more about that I’m not ready in my mental state. Forgive me.

I’m also blogging to you about One Day Blog Silence. To honour the Virginia Tech victims, I ask if you blog to not say one word on it on April 30th of this year. Visit OneDayBlogSilence.com for more info or your own banners to post on your blog.

Thanks for reading, and to those of you also facing grief, let’s try to help each other out while we give wishes for the victim’s families (the truly upset)!

So let’s watch something fun, shall we? : “It’s Just a Breeze, G” rap for Turbo Tax.

P.S. It wasn’t that easy, so don’t feel bad.

While packing your shoes, skip the paper stuffing, instead use undies and/or socks and save extra space! Possibly for more pairs or purchases on return! Faaaaab.

Bubbly Irish Nut

• 1 oz. Baileys® Irish Cream
• 1 oz. Amaretto Di Saronno®
• 4 oz. Soda water

Enjoy! Happy St. Paddy’s Day from this Bubbly Irish Nut!

Today’s handbag: Chloe Paddington Mousse

Forget traditional cheese and pizza sauce, the record-priced pie will be topped with creme fraiche, chives, eight ounces of four different kinds of Petrossian caviar, four ounces of thinly sliced Maine lobster tail, salmon roe, and a little bit of spice with wasabi.

And unlike your typical pizza, this one won’t be cooked, after all, that would spoil the fish. The 12-inch pie is sliced into four pieces, which comes to $250 per slice.

Bah. I can make you a great pizza. I’ll charge, ooh a base price of $45 on up, depending on ingredients. (Or a mere $10, for a simpler, average-joe pie.)

My pizza will use Boboli pizza crust, no not something I make myself, because that crust is the best. Mmm.

Then, I will crush tomatoes finely - or leave light chunks if you prefer, for the sauce. If you don’t want tomato sauce, how about taco or barbecue sauce? Those will make for fun & tasty pizzas, with the right ingredients.

Cheese - a mixture of brie, mozzarella and cheddar!

For toppings, oh I have choices:

• Chopped prime rib
• Freshly cut pineapple
• Real bacon pieces with only red meat, no white fat at all. Picked apart with care.
• Extra large deli pepperoni
• Sliced chicken breast covered in honey barbecue sauce
• Sliced chicken breast covered in honey mustard sauce
• Sliced salmon covered in honey mustard sauce
• Mix of fruits: cantaloupe, pitted cherry, pear, peach and pineapple (suggested on a white pizza)
• Pineapple and orange
• Lobster pieces, sure, I’ll throw that in, but unlike Nino’s Bellisima, I think the lobster needs to be the only topping.
• Vegetables - oh sure, like what? All fresh

There now don’t you want to order from me? If you’re ever in the Boston/South Shore area, send me an e-mail!

But caviar, lobster, chives, salmon - all on an uncooked pie - would their pizza even taste good??? Please. It’s not even extra large - ugh!!

Yes, I’m on a purse restriction, but with credit I purchased this Jordi Labanda ‘BLA’ Tote. Yes, but I have a smaller one I’m selling. Yesss, it’ll sell for less money. But I like it, even though I don’t use it, so I should replace when sold. See, I know I won’t use it for its small size. The tote will be used. Even if its only for when I’m feeling low key. So, yes, a new purchase and replacing something with something else more expensive. But I’m going from a waste-and-not-using, to totally-into-right-now-want-to-use-soon! It makes sense.

And the general laid-backness and lack of luxe promotes my handbag mood right now. Even though this bag cost $141, but you know that’s good for a bag! Yes, having and then carrying this bag will make me feel even more into my restriction.

You know, I don’t even want to bring my Mousse coloured Paddington on my trip later this week (Spring Break!) anymore!

Still, wish me luck in affording the Coach Ali bag. Eeee.

*Update* I love the bag, I hate, detest, abore the straps. They’re cheap, hard plastic. Not leather. The bag doesn’t fit on my shoulders because of this! It goes back. Meanwhile certain family members are on my case about trying to scrounge for the COACH bag. They don’t understand how much privilege Coach is giving me with their preferred customers event, and that it’s cheaper than eBay. One time deal. See, I am going on a trip and blah, blah, I need money for that. Humph. (I repeat, though, I bought this bag on Bill Me Later credit, and don’t have credit for the Coach. I don’t think …….)

Recently carried bag: Chloé Betty

While working I popped one of my anxiety pills, after a while of that not working I popped another.

Usually these pills have no big effect. To help me sleep, they’re the tamest things. To calm my stress, sometimes they work. But I like to say they’re a bit like candy—I don’t worry about taking even three. I can take them at night and not even get tired. And then sometimes they just incapacitate me! I’m so out of it. I needed to call the post office and speaking I sound either out-of-it mentally challenged or out-of-it sleepy. The truth is I’m drugged up.

It’s not to say that it didn’t help my stress but when I can’t do anything productive I get stressed anew—although in a calm way thanks to the drug. Not too slowly, I come out of it, and I’m all better.

But until then, boy do I have to concentrate to make any sense writing - I’m useless.

So yes, drugs are bad. Of course, I know. I don’t have some problem with drugs. They’re prescribed for me to use this way. They’re necessary to fight my bad anxiety problems. Too bad I can’t go relax, that leads to trouble with me (laziness or sleeping the day away). I’ve been facing more mental problems lately.

Anyway I wanted to write so that people would get a side of the whole “drug” story. Also - to warn in case I can’t write any more blogs today. Sigh.

Hey, maybe I shouldn’t even publish this personal story? But I can’t be that judge right now. I apologize, but now you know a bit more about Ella.

Recently carried bag: Chloé Betty

They’re also super thin so they easily store, and are made of flexible plastic, so you can just bend and drop the cut ingredients into your pot!

I know I need these, even though I rarely chop. And I never chop more than one type of food. And I already have that Vedalia thing. But oh my gosh do I need this! Besides, they’re only $12.95 - that’s practically nothing.

*Via Outblush*

Recently carried bag: Chloe Betty

michelle Says:
March 10th, 2007 at 1:35 pm

wow- you need help-

And she is so right! I need to win the lottery, preferably more than the current $19 Mil jackpot, but we’re (my family) playing anyway. (How nice of us to the government.)

We played faithfully, and I worked on my karma, figured out what good I would do with the money, etc. But we still lost! There were two winners, one being a truck driver from Georgia. Grr.

But come on lottery! I know you’ll get me. I’ll accept any amount of several millions, really, don’t think I’m selfish.

Not at all, here’s what I would do with my own $390 million (reduced after taxes and split three ways with my parents et moi):

1. Put most in my savings account STAT to start earning interest before I decide what to invest in. My “spending money” will sit there, too, until I transfer it to checking to spend it baby!
2. Give three whole million to my best friend! He’d be set! (Although he tells me to tell the gods I’d give him nothing, since he’s bad luck. I just can’t lie though! I’m too giving.)
3. Pay off all my debts. (I can’t believe I racked it all up this year!) Oh, lord, do I need you lottery!
4. Buy a condo in Florida, a house in the suburbs of Boston, and a place on Cape Cod. And that’s it! Until I eventually get a place in/near NYC.
5. Start an abused animal rehabilitation/foster/adoption organization. I even picked out its name and .org domain. (No, I didn’t buy the domain, heh, but I hope no one takes it.) I wouldn’t really be able to physically volunteer much, but I would constantly donate “designer” dog toys and organic healthy food. And dog water. They make special bottled water for dogs that’s much healthier, and I think that’s good.
6. Buy every single handbag on my wish list, plus two Hermès Birkins.
7. Actually start buying designer clothing, but you know what—I’ll still get bargains at Forever 21 and H&M! How ’bout that?! I won’t be too spoiled.
8. Donate gads of money into the network and hope to see a return.
9. Put family, friends, and talented bloggers, etc., to work and pay an overly fair salary.

Not to mention my mums - who is disabled from an accident and really struggling - would no longer need to worry about money.

You see, I would be the best candidate to win the lottery, because I will save animals, give broke people full time jobs (or pay them like it), move the economy, be a great bill-receiver (is that a thing?), and have the money to be near different friends and family at different times more often. It will all go back in some way or another.

And I can have handbags, muah ha ha. I’ll never need a ban. Although - YES! - I will restrict myself. It’s true. Not too many exotics and only expensive bags that are dreams! Oh and no waste-of-money cheap bags. Bah.

So - what would you do with Mega Millions $$$? But don’t make it sound to good, because I need to deserve it the most!

Recently carried bag: Chloé Betty “Sugar Plum”

I went into this figuring out my budget, getting depressed, not sure I could stick to a purse restriction, but basically what money I have this month (since it needs to go to bills, to invest in the network/my business and to buy plane tickets for Spring Break) doesn’t give room for bags. I couldn’t possibly not stick to my bag ban.

And you know it doesn’t feel so bad. I hope to have the funds, thanks to eBay selling, to buy a bag and maybe a couple small things at the COACH Preferred Customer Event, but other than that I’m so over needing to buy handbags all the time. Oh don’t get me wrong, my designer wish list is still huge, and it worries me that I won’t be able to score catches by the time they’re gone, but overall I’m less into it.

I’m even less into carrying my bags. I think it’s because I sort of resent them for me spending my money on them. Yeah, perhaps silly.

Anyway, I’m doing it, I’m budgeting. I’m doing my best to pay off my CCs, and I’m sort of not broke.

I’ll keep you updated.

Recently carried bag: Chloé “Sugar Plum” Betty